By now I have a sick feeling inside that people might be getting a bit sick and tired of the fantastic actor Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (His daughter happens to be my neighbor, not that that affects my opinion on him). People may scoff and ignore his next major Blockbuster release Rampage. Well how the fuck can you scoff now when the plot of it is basically happening right there there in Hong Kong. Like twice the length of the other puny hogs around him and with roughly 5000% more muscle bulk than the others. Honestly must be like a god amongst them. I mean I’ve always heard that pigs and hogs only have feeding and breeding on their mind which is why they get castrated on farms, so they only eat and grow massive for meat. Well if they can get their brains together for one second and realize they have a leader who can take on humans and rule the world if we were just going hand to hand. I mean short of a 50 cal bullet I’m not even sure other calibers can take Hogzilla out. I mean yea i know shit head poachers take out Elephants all the time but Hogs are a whole nother animal entirely, literally. Same logic where a 9mm can probably shoot any person but when a crazy coked out juiced meth head comes charging at you. It’s gonna take a couple .45 probably. Well same logic as hogzilla except times 100 and bullets look like they’ll bounce off him when he charges the streets of Hong Kong. I mean it’s eating trash! It’ll eat anything and every thing and continue to bulk up. That includes, half eaten steaks, bullets, trash, humans, skulls, etc. Guy’s such a monster it almost makes me think he’s a marketing ploy now just so people watch Rampage. I don’t want to know monsters can happen naturally out there in the wild.
Now off the bat i was like this guys crazy for thinking you’d rather get stung on the penis than the nose but then i gave it a second thought and changed my mind and kinda justified it. Listen If I were to take an average time of how fast it can take me to jizz its probably some where between 1 minutes and 1 minute 1 second. There’s no scientific evidence to prove that this would work the way i think in my head but if a bunch of bees stung my dick and balls MAYBE just MAYBE id loose just enough sensitivity that I would last long enough to match the time of some sexy R&B song maybe. Is it a crazy thought? yes. But probably from putting on some pain reducing numbing cream all over the place it’ll dull the sensation to the right point where it still feels good but don’t disappoint her. Now as for the nose. I have pretty good skin so growing up i never had to use any acne things. Some people would use like Accutane and want to go on a murderous rampage. Thank god that wasn’t me. But once or twice i got a black head and thought i should remove it so i rummaged through my sisters thing that was use to remove black heads. One end had like a rope thing and the other end was like a fucking hypodermic needle. Both ends of those things SUCKED. Must be like a bazillion nerve endings at the nose. Just poking it and shit make me tear up and stuff from the pain. I hope that’s normal if not then fuck you, leave me alone about my pain threshold. Maybe one more relatable is when your picking your nose and like you yank on one that pulls a nose hair. Or Just pulling a nose hair in general. Shit would bring me to my knees in an instant. I imagine that pain is just as bad as a bee sting there and I can’t stand that type of pain.
So all in all, Yea Michael Smith here might have gotten some fake award in the name of science but really he should get a real nobel prize and i hope for his sake that he’s using his award to try to hook up with women. Its the least he can do for his penis after letting it get fucked up intentionally by Bees.
P.s- “There’s definitely no crossing of wires of pleasure and pain down there.” Would be devious of Michael if he was some sadomasochist who just cums from every bee sting on his dick. Like on the record just fake being like he’s in pain form the bee stings when really the pain just turns him into a freak sex slave to bee stings.
P.P.S- This blog post is weird and i revealed maybe too much about my jizz/stamina with women.