Yea okay, Lady. You were gonna give those away as “Christmas Gifts.” First off if you’re gifting a DVD of a movie that’s been out for 5 years, you suck but at least be up to date and give them a Blu-Ray copy. Gotta see those abs in 1080p 4k high resolution and you should just get the bundle pack that has the sequel Magic Mike XXL . Second, a stick of salami for Christmas? Kinda weird, but I’d fuck with it. Kinda like a “we’re definitely not Jewish” gift. Still a shitty present though. But all of that is a moot point. Yea those two things are just a number of things that this lady stole but I think her intentions are quite clear. She’s gonna fuck her self with that salami stick while watching Magic Mike. I don’t even think that’s coming from a mind that has taken years of Porn attrition on the brain either. That’s just what this lady was going to do. Call me crazy also but I feel like girls always get a pass when you hear them put weird things in or around their pussy either? Like I remember a friend saying depending how she say she would rub the heel of her shoe against her stuff and just go crazy for a moment. Click the random tab on pornhub and you’ll find all sorts of gourmet farm to bed room vegetables getting more action than most guys. It’s crazy. A stick of hard salami is hardly a surprise as a sex toy. But If A guy like decides to get like a country ham and carved a hole in it that person would be locked in jail and becomes a social pariah. Pretty sexist don’t you think?
(Yea that last bit got kinda weird. I never tried to fuck a ham.)