No Ones Thirstier Than This Chick Who Stole A DVD Copy of Magic Mike And A Stick Of Salami

A 25-year-old St. Johns County woman was arrested after she tried to steal tools, DVDs and food from a St. Augustine Walmart, a police report said.  Karson Kidwell was charged with grand theft after she stole $574 of items from Walmart by stuffing the items into a duffel bag, the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said. A Walmart loss prevention manager reported the theft. Among the items recovered: DVDs of the movies "Magic Mike," "The Campaign" and "Bad Teacher" and several tools, batteries and food items, including chicken and dry salami.  The loss prevention manager noted that Kidwell took the items to the front of the store and attempted to walk the items out the door, the report said.  Karson told the arresting officer that she stole the items because, "It's hard times." She planned to give away some of the items as Christmas gifts, the report said.

Fox30- A 25-year-old St. Johns County woman was arrested after she tried to steal tools, DVDs and food from a St. Augustine Walmart, a police report said.
Karson Kidwell was charged with grand theft after she stole $574 of items from Walmart by stuffing the items into a duffel bag, the St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office said. A Walmart loss prevention manager reported the theft.
Among the items recovered: DVDs of the movies “Magic Mike,” “The Campaign” and “Bad Teacher” and several tools, batteries and food items, including chicken and dry salami.
The loss prevention manager noted that Kidwell took the items to the front of the store and attempted to walk the items out the door, the report said.
Karson told the arresting officer that she stole the items because, “It’s hard times.”
She planned to give away some of the items as Christmas gifts, the report said.

Yea okay, Lady. You were gonna give those away as “Christmas Gifts.” First off if you’re gifting a DVD of a movie that’s been out for 5 years, you suck but at least be up to date and give them a Blu-Ray copy. Gotta see those abs in 1080p 4k high resolution and you should just get the bundle pack that has the sequel Magic Mike XXL . Second, a stick of salami for Christmas? Kinda weird, but I’d fuck with it. Kinda like a “we’re definitely not Jewish” gift. Still a shitty present though. But all of that is a moot point. Yea those two things are just a number of things that this lady stole but I think her intentions are quite clear. She’s gonna fuck her self with that salami stick while watching Magic Mike. I don’t even think that’s coming from a mind that has taken years of Porn attrition on the brain either. That’s just what this lady was going to do. Call me crazy also but I feel like girls always get a pass when you hear them put weird things in or around their pussy either? Like I remember a friend saying depending how she say she would rub the heel of her shoe against her stuff and just go crazy for a moment. Click the random tab on pornhub and you’ll find all sorts of gourmet farm to bed room vegetables getting more action than most guys. It’s crazy. A stick of hard salami is hardly a surprise as a sex toy. But If A guy like decides to get like a country ham and carved a hole in it that person would be locked in jail and becomes a social pariah. Pretty sexist don’t you think?

(Yea that last bit got kinda weird. I never tried to fuck a ham.)

 

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