N-bombs just hit Lady Bird Johnson Middle School hard. Kids got the full blast of it over the school P.A system probably. Listen I’ve dropped the N-bomb before. Mostly only from rap lyrics. I’ve had black friends say they don’t care. Growing up in South Florida is a nice cultural melting pot of races. Frankly i think its one of the highest compliments you can get in high school if you were some black guy’s n*gga. And thats where we need to figure out what exactly was said. Was it the N-bomb with an -a or a hard -er. Thats the difference. Both things are drastically different. One means you’re basically a cultural bridge amongst two different societies and saying the other one means you hate black people. Im gonna go out on a limb and say it was the one that ended in “-a”. Now this is a word association game so lets take a look at the transcript.

Collis: “Lions.”
Teacher: “Respect.”
Collis: “Blood.”
Teacher: Loyalty
Collis: “Guts.”
Teacher: “Honesty.”
Collis: “N******.”

Clearly that wasn’t meant in the bad “-er” way. From every song i’ve heard all these things are adjectives to describe as someones “N*gga” in the best way possible. If you want to be a negative nancy about the whole situation you gotta remember that that word was word associated with some great qualities so is that really that bad? Loyalty, Respect, Guts, Honesty? Thats mah N*gga.

A Colombian drug smuggler has been arrested at Bogota’s main airport after 40 kilos of cocaine were found in his suitcase.
The man, from the town of Santa Rosa de Cabal, 200 miles west of the capital, had not even attempted to disguise the $2 million cargo. When police opened his suitcase they found nothing but dozens of bricks of the drug, wrapped in black plastic.
Police grew suspicious when the man was queuing up for his flight to Mexico. He had a recently-received passport, was nervous, and was unable to say how much his ticket cost or why he was travelling.
“One theory is that his job was just to get the suitcase into the airport, and then someone within the airport would be in charge of taking it and putting it inside the plane – without passing through controls,” said Colonel Diego Rosero, chief of security at El Dorado airport. He told Spanish newspaper El Mundo: “In Mexico, at the other end, they would have the same system.”
But Col Rosero said that the man is thought to be a lowly “mule”, given that he had no previous criminal record.
“He’s a naive young guy who fell into the trap of the gangs,” he said. “I’m sure that they promised him an easy mission, without any risk, and the man trusted them.”
He will now face a minimum prison sentence of 15 years.

“If I open these two suit cases up am i gonna find any drugs?”- Security Guard

“Yes.”-Drug Mule

I’ve seen a decent amount of drug crime mob movies in my day. If you think this is just some run of the mill drug trafficker that got caught and that security prevented these drugs from being distributed, you’re just not smart enough for this life. Let me break it down. Guy owes a blood debt or something to some colombian mob. Boss tells him he’s gonna wipe out this guys family if he doesnt do something for him. This guy agrees but the plan isnt for him to smuggle the drugs into mexico. He’s just a pawn in this scenario. I mean guys nervous as shit but doesnt try to bolt or make some deal? He was set out to get arrested this whole time. I mean he’s all calm and steady ready to admit he has drugs like its not even a thing once he’s in the room. Instead this was a diversion and another guy gets around security when they’re all focused on this guy, and loads up the plane with probably 15 million worth of Pure uncut Nicaraguan. A real crime boss knows who he has on his payroll. He wasn’t gonna let this small fry chump get in the way of his business, plain and simple.

Silly pup, Its only a stuffed animal! Adorable as shit. no need to getting all rilled up little man, its only a toy. Love it getting all defensive and alerting the home court that a potential threat might be here in the form of a Jungle cat. Need the follow up when he prances and tears that thing up in an adorable fashion cause you know it happened.

Sidenote- before i read the title of the video i played it and thought it was a really still tiger puppy just sitting there. No wonder the little guy was barking. Shit looked real as fuck.

I guess its a lot harder out in the streets of Chicago than what i know from all the scenic clips on ESPN and NBC from the Bulls and Blackhawks series. Its just mass hysteria. I mean here people are just driving home from dinner or from work and out of no where you end up in some sort of western shootout with roman candles. No care whatsoever about their life as they go head to head in this roman candle showdown. Seriously though, i would be scared as shit to get hit with a roman candle. Part of me thinks Im just gonna burst into flames if one of those hits me with a cotton sweater on or something. Its all fun and exhilarating until a flaming mortar shell is entrenched in my eye and i go blind. Just goes to show how its chaos in the streets these days, not to mention every single bystander on that street seemed to have a roman candle and a lighter ready to go too and we’re still a month away from July. Madness.

Also, you know who flat out doesnt give a fuck and values his life over his job? This cop

Literally knows shits about to go down but he’s not gonna win this fight. Really we probably avoided another nation wide controversy about police brutality and instead just got a funny video on the internet. Thats the key to solving these cultural issues, just stop giving a fuck.

Ronda Rousey’s been getting a lot of love recently. Might be the hottest female in hollywood after Caitlyn Jenner. She’s in Entourage movies and showing up at Wrestlemania tossing Triple H and trying to break Stephanie McMahon’s arm and shit. Well reality check toots. You think you’re a great fighter and hot shit in Hollywood and can demolish any man that steps in your way well guess what? The worlds greatest female MMA fighter poses no more threat to JC as the worlds greatest termite. When it comes to hand to hand combat/acting she’s like bottom of the barrel. Chan’s been in 126 movies and Im pretty sure he fights and whoops ass in all of them. MMA fighting? Any arm bar you get Chan in, he’s gonna slip out of it like a slippery fish and hurt you or discombobulate the fuck outta you at the same time. Acting chops wise, have you not seen The Police Story series? Shanghai Nights? Rumble in the Bronx? Mr. Nice guy? Drunken Master??. Rousey is gonna be type casted as a mean female fighter. Jackie’s got range. Im all for Rousey being a great fighter and all but her talent and temperature just got bumped back in place by Number 1.

A D.C. taxi driver took a woman far from the destination she requested, then asked her to perform a sex act on him, Fairfax County police said Tuesday.
The woman got out of the car unharmed.
Police spokesman Roger Henriquez said that the woman hailed a cab in D.C. some time after 2 a.m. Saturday morning and asked the driver to take her to her home, which is not in Fairfax County. While in the taxi, she was looking at her cellphone. After some time, police said, the woman looked up and realized that the driver had taken her somewhere far from her home.
Henriquez said that the woman asked the driver where they were. The driver then pulled over, at Frazier Lane and Pine Tree Road, in a residential neighborhood near the George Washington Parkway in McLean.
The driver told the woman that she could either perform a sex act or get out of the car. She got out and he did not try to stop her, Henriquez said.
She called police from the side of the road, where he left her alone, at 2:54 a.m.
Henriquez said that police have little hope of finding the driver. The woman does not know the license plate number or even what company the cab belonged to, and she was able to describe the driver only as a Middle Eastern man with an accent.
“At this point, there’s nothing else to follow up on, unfortunately,” Henriquez said.

Ahh yes, the old Taxi Driver tried to get me to suck his dick move. Every time i go on Youjizz i see at least one or two fake taxi pornos now on the front page. I guess its hot on the streets.  Its become one of my go-to vids to pass the time. The british thing annoys me but the over all gimmick of banging in a taxi is so enticing I’m not gonna lie, i kinda want to do it. See thats what i think got into this taxi drivers head. He takes girls from A to B all the time and we all know girls want to bang as much as guys do for the most part so why not give it a whirl. Its 2 am, she’s far from home (that was on him) and she’d desperate for a ride. Only problem is this guy has no game and fucked up big time. I guarantee like 45% of all taxi drivers have gotten a BJ before while on the job, its just about playing it right by laying down the right lines of dialogue like my man Fake Taxi Porn Guy. “I hope you don’t mind me saying but you’re smoking hot with a fantastic pair of tits”- She begins to giggle and calls you a perv but guess what all guys are perv so she doesn’t pull out pepper spray immediately. “Tell you what, you flash me and ill give you the ride for free”- she says omg are you serious and you tell her how far away she is from home and how much its gonna cost her. She agrees and then boom. You follow in Fake Taxi’s foot steps, stop the car and tell her you want to bang her and if she doesn’t you’re gonna release the video of her flashing her titties in the hidden camera you have. It always works like that on Fake taxi. You tell her its gonna be fun and she gets a free car ride. Its 3 am and its worth it. He slowly wears you down till she says yes. This guy in DC just drove her into a different county and said suck my dick or walk. That approach isn’t gonna work. Any of you Taxi Drivers or Uber drivers I implore you to test out Fake Taxi’s method of banging your passengers. I’ve never seen it not work.

Works 100% of the time according to Fake Taxi.

Congrats UConn. You guys created the most unknown rivalry in the history of football. But im not gonna hate it though. If thats what you need to motivate the team for the next 130 days 23 hours 13 minutes and 10.8 seconds then so be it. But come Saturday October 10th you better be ready. If you think you can come into Bright House Stadium and just roll through UCF you’re crazy. I mean its kinda bullshit that they made this Trophy and not put up the score of the 2013 game where we trounced them 62-17. But fine, you want to make this a thing then so be it. Shit im loving it already. Michigan vs. Ohio state, Texas vs. Oklahoma, Georgia vs Florida, UCF vs Uconn. Storied rivalry that spans up and down the United States. Its on Uconn. Me and Knightro are coming for that ass.

Perhaps keeping his trousers on is what prevented Ed Miliband moving into No.10 Downing Street.
John Erik Wagner has stripped completely starkers for his election campaign poster.
NSFW pictures of the 52-year-old’s naked body (not to mention his charming cowboy hat and leather gun holster) have been, erm, erected all over his native Copenhagen.
An investigation has been carried out to ensure the X-rated images were permissible, but city administrators apparently weren’t convinced they would ‘disrupt road users’ attention’.

Some where deep inside John Erik Wagners’s brain he thinks this is a good idea and really i cant think of any real reason why its bad. for a 52 year old man, dudes in shape. I mean sure there might be some light touch ups on photoshop but as far as i can tell, this isnt gonna be a guy that dies in office for a long time. He’s not gonna be a health liability in the foreseeable future. 2nd, dude looks like he must have a swinging dick. The last thing i want in office is a man that isn’t strong or has too small of a dick making decisions that proceed over the city. Guy’s not making foolish decisions with that thing in his pants. Third, the cowboy look. I love it. No such thing as cowboys in Denmark’s history as far as Im concerned but he may be the first. Got his finger on the trigger ready to make moves for your city if you elect him for what ever position he’s trying to be. Stern look in his eyes, finger on the trigger, cocks out ready to swing it when needed. Wagner 2015 for president (or whatever they have over there).

Fuck this snake. Dirty little thief motherfucker of a snake. Thing looks like a million feet long with the grosses scaley skin ever. Hey dumb fuck stop recording and get your machete out or something. One second its eggs and u think its cool and crazy, next thing its crawling in your fucking bed eating you or your wife and then its not cool anymore is it? get that thing the fuck out of your house. I wouldn’t hesitate to pull out my gun and im not starting from the smallest option either. Its shot gun or higher. Frankly i would just buy a new house and send a ballistic missile at that thing.

Mean while on the other hand we got this other kid in India or something flat about body slamming the fuck out of a python . Thing shouldn’t even be alive considering he ragdolled that snake whipping its head on the floor and shit. Good. I dont fuck with snakes and they’re the grossest animals ever and anyone who has one as a pet is crazy. Those things belong no where near humans.

If it’s not on Instagram, you haven’t eaten it. Roast dinners, soufflés and salads, no food escapes an Amaro filter these days.
Now Google is responding to the appetite for “food porn” by developing an artificial intelligence project to calculate the calories in your latest Instagram post.
Announced at the Rework Deep Learning Summit, the prospective tool called Im2Calories, aims to identify food snapped and work out the calorie content.
The Google researcher Kevin P Murphy said the AI technology will analyse the depth of pixels in an image and employ “sophisticated deep-learning algorithms” to judge the size and shape of a foodstuff.
According to Popular Science, the company has recently filed a patent for the technology.
“To me it’s obvious that people really want this and this is really useful. OK fine, maybe we get the calories off by 20%. It doesn’t matter. We’re going to average over a week or a month or a year.

Listen if i were a restaurant owner id ban together now with all others and stop this AI calorie counter from being made. You wanna know why your food taste good at restaurants? its butter. shit load of butter and bacon grease probably. Fats flavor simple as that. The last thing you need to keep your business afloat is an app that tells your customers their being a fat ass for eating there.