Tag Archives: Morphine

Oregon Man Pulls The Classic Elaine Benes, “My Breakfast Had Poppy Seeds!” Defense In Court

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — An attorney for a man who pleaded guilty to a conspiracy charge in the takeover of an Oregon wildlife refuge says his client tested positive for morphine because he ate an ‘everything’ bagel with poppy seeds.
The Oregonian/Oregon Lives reported Monday (http://bit.ly/2eIZoQd ) that a federal judge in Portland, Oregon has ordered Jason Blomgren to avoid poppy seeds in addition to drugs.
Blomgren took a plea deal for his role in the armed occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge last year and is expected to be sentenced to probation next month.
He had been subpoenaed by the government to testify in a trial against Ammon Bundy and other leaders of the refuge occupation, but was not called as a witness.
Blomgren now says he will eat egg whites for breakfast.

The classic Poppy seed bagel/muffin defense. This is one of those things that is a known fact that might not be true at all. It’s like when you growing up you heard that red cars raises your car insurance. Nothing to show that it’s a true solid fact in life. Your insurance broker can even tell you that that’s a myth but you still probably factor it into the cost of potentially picking out a new car. Well poppy seeds are the same. As a kid you’d get your morning everything bagel and then tell your friends “yo, the bagel i’m eating has poppy seeds in it. You know if I get drug tested It’ll come up positive because of the Poppy Seeds?!?! It’s like I’m doing drugs.” Everyone has heard that once in their life and if not you know of the Seinfeld reference. And Just like this judge who had to hear this testimony in court, he believed it. Maybe not fully believed it but like “c’mon guy, We know you did a ton of morphine and deserve to go to jail or whatever” but then that small chance that the elusive poppy seed rumor is true, you don’t want to the one to make the mistake of not believing a fact that everyone on the planet universally knows. Let this be a note to all Morphine addicts and the defense attorneys that represent them. Oregon vs Jason Blomgren has set a legal precedent that makes a client’s drug toxicity report inadmissible in court  based on the defense’s breakfast choice. Basically converting myth into legal grounds at this point. Very important moment in US history.

P.s- Saying you’lll switch from Poppy seed bagels to Egg White’s is a great move. If he said he was just having eggs the Judge would probably dismiss that as an act to gain his trust, you mention it’s egg whites only it makes him seem like a health conscious citizen. The devil’s in the details.

The Hottest New Drug On The Street To Get Faded On Is Elephant Tranquilizer

The Washington Post- A substance used to tranquilize elephants that is 100 times more potent than the drug that killed Prince is hitting the Washington suburbs, adding the region to a growing list of communities nationwide reporting fatal overdoses linked to the exotic and toxic sedative.
Three cases out of Anne Arundel and Frederick counties this month mark the first carfentanil-related fatalities in Maryland, alarming local health and law enforcement officials already in a state of emergency combating the opioid crisis.
On Monday, a Virginia man pleaded guilty in a drug distribution case after selling $100 of carfentanil-laced heroin to a 21-year-old found dead by her mother on the bathroom floor of their Fairfax County home.
In recent weeks, police departments across the country announced carfentanil-related fatalities, including cases in Illinois, Colorado, Wisconsin and Minnesota. Law enforcement officials fear the growing lethal overdoses tied to the synthetic opioid marks a new normal in the nation’s heroin epidemic.
“We have never seen death like we do now,” said Tom Synan, head of Hamilton County Heroin Coalition in Ohio, which was among the first spots to discover a string of carfentanil deaths during a week in which the county’s overdoses more than doubled.

Gotta love the the opiate options out there these days. You think parents back then were screaming for arrest and trying to protect their kids from the crazy devil rap music talking about smoking weed, well buck up, Mothers out there. Weed is going to be legal soon enough nationwide and you gotta now protect your kids from using elephant tranquilizer used to sedate a 3 ton animal behemoth. I gotta say, there’s some level of amazement out there. I mean when we live in a world where people take Oxycontin, Cocaine, Crack, LSD, Ketamine, Vicodin, Morphine, Methadone, Heroin, Percocets,  MDMA, Crystal meth, GHB, Psilocybin mushrooms, Salvia, DMT, PCP, Barbiturates, Xanax, Valium, Rohypnol, Synthetic weed, Alcohol, and Weed in general, druggies will always find another way to get high. Case and point, someone thought all of these very well known party drugs, downers, and uppers, thought it would be a good idea to take a syringe full of Carfentanil used to tranq elephants and rhinos and decided to use it to get fucked up.  Put nothing past drug addicts and their method of getting high. Wouldn’t even be surprised if they straight up told a zoo keeper to shoot em straight in the jugular.