Tag Archives: Van Buren Boys

If You Can’t Command A Single Ounce Of Fear Trying To Rob A Kebab Shop, You Should Just Kill Yourself

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HuffingtonPost- An Egyptian kebab shop owner in New Zealand has become an internet hit after a video of him ignoring a would-be robber and continuing to serve a customer went viral, drawing more than a quarter of a million views. Said Ahmed, owner of the Egyptian Kebab House in Christchurch, said it was simply a “lucky” reaction to ignore the masked man, who walked into his restaurant on May 28 and demanded cash while holding what appeared to be a gun. Ahmed, who has run his kebab shop for 15 years, continued to bag up an order and handed it to a customer before walking away to call the police, the video shows, leaving the attempted robber to exit empty handed. Canterbury Police released CCTV footage of the incident on Facebook last week in a bid to identify the would-be robber. The 27-second clip has since drawn 255,000 views and has been shared more than 1,000 times. Ahmed, 55, who was quickly dubbed by social media as the “chillest chip shop operator”, said he was only thinking of his family and thought walking away would avoid a more serious outcome. “I’m not a hero but, you know, I controlled my reaction,” he told New Zealand media. “Quite lucky because that reaction come to my head in that moment.”

Huffington Post– An Egyptian kebab shop owner in New Zealand has become an internet hit after a video of him ignoring a would-be robber and continuing to serve a customer went viral, drawing more than a quarter of a million views.
Said Ahmed, owner of the Egyptian Kebab House in Christchurch, said it was simply a “lucky” reaction to ignore the masked man, who walked into his restaurant on May 28 and demanded cash while holding what appeared to be a gun.
Ahmed, who has run his kebab shop for 15 years, continued to bag up an order and handed it to a customer before walking away to call the police, the video shows, leaving the attempted robber to exit empty handed.
Canterbury Police released CCTV footage of the incident on Facebook last week in a bid to identify the would-be robber. The 27-second clip has since drawn 255,000 views and has been shared more than 1,000 times.
Ahmed, 55, who was quickly dubbed by social media as the “chillest chip shop operator”, said he was only thinking of his family and thought walking away would avoid a more serious outcome.
“I’m not a hero but, you know, I controlled my reaction,” he told New Zealand media. “Quite lucky because that reaction come to my head in that moment.”

My god that’s embarrassing. I don’t even think prison would be as bad as the social stigma in the crime world of not getting an ounce of respect from a shop owner or the fucking customer picking up their food while you pretty much play cops and robbers over there by your self. The only way I could see this happening is if it was like the Van Buren Boys episode of Seinfeld where Costanza tries to fake rob the Seinfeld’s so he doesn’t get beat up, but even he kinda at least threw Morty and Helen off kilt for a second. This guy on the other hand just gets treated like a social pariah or the town leper where people think even acknowledging them will get you sick. Best outcome would’ve been he take off the ski mask and say it was all a joke and order a falafel pita or maybe a nice spinach pie and continue on his day praying his attempt doesn’t end up on line for the world to laugh out. But now that its out there, he’s not gonna get any respect as a criminal. Can’t cut it on a normal 9-5, can’t cut it in a ski mask robbing people at gun point, all you really can do now is just kill yourself.

FSU Girl Trying To Sell Her Diploma To Pay Off Her Student Loan

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d up with student loan debt and a lack of prospects, one Florida State University alumna is selling her "never been used to get a job" diploma on eBay. lRelated Millennials need help conquering mountains of student loan debt GONE VIRAL Millennials need help conquering mountains of student loan debt SEE ALL RELATED 8 Stephanie Ritter listed the diploma for $50,000 and with it she offers to share the FSU college experience, meaning "everywhere you would have gone/eaten/partied in your four years." cComments @canes1fan - Man you guys are awesome how you can take the 1st letters of the school and make up new funny name, kind of like my 9 year old might do. Now win some football games. NOTSOFREE AT 8:53 AM AUGUST 28, 2015 ADD A COMMENTSEE ALL COMMENTS 35 The tongue-in-cheek posting lists off a variety of Tallahassee pitstops Ritter could take the buyer: a tour of her favorite Publix locations, a show at the FSU School of Theatre, attendance at a football or basketball game, plus some more less wholesome experiences. As if that weren't enough, Ritter is also giving the buyer direct access to her personal memories via her college Facebook photos and permission to text her if the buyer needs real-time information about life at FSU. Ritter graduated with a bachelor's degree in theatre in 2011, since then she's been consistently underemployed. Currently she's living in Los Angeles working as a personal assistant. She told Buzzfeed her degree "couldn't mean less" so she figures by selling it she can pay off her $40,000 worth of student loans. Despite it all, she says she would still go to college if she had to do it again, she'd just choose a more queer friendly school in a city with opportunities for her to make money to support herself. The listing has 27 days left but if the diploma doesn't sell, Ritter told Buzzfeed she has a few back up plans: either become a "sugar daughter" or pay the minimum on her loans for the next 25 years.

Orlando Sentinel– Fed up with student loan debt and a lack of prospects, one Florida State University alumna is selling her “never been used to get a job” diploma on eBay.
Stephanie Ritter listed the diploma for $50,000 and with it she offers to share the FSU college experience, meaning “everywhere you would have gone/eaten/partied in your four years.”
The tongue-in-cheek posting lists off a variety of Tallahassee pitstops Ritter could take the buyer: a tour of her favorite Publix locations, a show at the FSU School of Theatre, attendance at a football or basketball game, plus some more less wholesome experiences.
As if that weren’t enough, Ritter is also giving the buyer direct access to her personal memories via her college Facebook photos and permission to text her if the buyer needs real-time information about life at FSU.
Ritter graduated with a bachelor’s degree in theatre in 2011, since then she’s been consistently underemployed. Currently she’s living in Los Angeles working as a personal assistant.
She told Buzzfeed her degree “couldn’t mean less” so she figures by selling it she can pay off her $40,000 worth of student loans. Despite it all, she says she would still go to college if she had to do it again, she’d just choose a more queer friendly school in a city with opportunities for her to make money to support herself.
The listing has 27 days left but if the diploma doesn’t sell, Ritter told Buzzfeed she has a few back up plans: either become a “sugar daughter” or pay the minimum on her loans for the next 25 years.

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GTFO here with that. Maybe if i were rich or something id give her $750 to buy her stories like Mr. Peterman brought Kramers but those stories involving Kramers pants and the Van Buren Boys were interesting and useful. I have no use recounting your stories of you getting fucked by college guys. So your stories are useless. Favorite Publix location? Are you serious? They’re all good. FSU Theater performance? I don’t think all the fancy Aristocrats are leaving broadway to seek the extraordinary performances from a collegiate school in Tallahassee. All you’re offering is useless and can be made up with one weekend in the fall just partying. GTFO here with 50,000 dollars for that package.

But most of all when are people going to understand getting a degree for something in the arts is just retarded. Being brain smart and thinking a degree proves you have the brain smarts about whatever you want to do just does nothing. She want to be some actress i assume because she had a degree in theater, well have talent. A degree doesn’t prove talent, it hardly proves any knowledge, just that you attended some form of academia. You gotta have connections and shit. Know the right people. Honestly all the famous actors i can think of, i don’t even think went to school for theater or acting or whatever. Just makes no sense to think you need a degree for that. So if you think this idea actually works, you’re dumb, but if you chose to fall back on your sugar baby idea, you might as well be a porn star and try to get famous that way. Use your theater experience and make decent coin just fucking dudes.