In the midst of all this racial tension growing in America between black and white people, The white nationalist and all the other rational people that progressed in life, It really made me happy that I’m just skating under the radar being Asian. No one complaining that we’re taking jobs because all of our jobs are stereotypical Asian restaurants. Sure the rest of my family does banking, pharmaceutical sales, real estate, importing goods, HR representation at major hotel chains and various other jobs that keeps them all well of and in a decent tax bracket. But yea Chinese restaurants and nail salons, that’s what those orientals do. See we got the facade as a harm free immigrant on lock. Math nerds with less intimidating dick sizes so we cant possibly steal away all the white girls. And that’s where we need to balance out the nerd Asians with guys like Rorn Sorn. Yea that name stinks but we need a couple of felons in our camp to edge out the book worm behavior. Does he have a threateningly massive cock? Probably not but average size probably. But he’s also a gun toting gang member with prior convictions. He had guns and drugs on him. That’s enough of the bad boy edge we need. The part where he had an accidental misfire while taking a selfie isn’t the hardest of looks but I’ll take it cause in the game of global diplomacy, we need all types and what we’ve been lacking ever since Jin stopped going on Freestyle Friday on 106&Park was an urban fella Asian that seemed like they could do crime stuffs. (Jin certainly wasn’t that type, but the freestyle battles made him cool)
Do you ever have something that you think up of that is mildly funny and you keep it to yourself and say “One day if I ever do stand up maybe I’ll use that as a bit.” That’s kind of a thing that I have going on now. See growing up I would travel a lot back and forth from New York because all of our family is from NYC. So every holiday, and every summer it was time to back my bags and fly north. It would always be infuriating because we had like 10 different suitcases that all sucked. Yet almost every weekend when my mom would go shopping at the mall we would almost always go into some sort of luggage shop and occasionally would buy one. There were ton of other Asians doing the same, and when my aunts came to town, they would always buy a new piece of luggage to take back up. Weird concept considering they flew down with the right amount of luggage but added another one to return home. From then on I kinda filed away an Asian stereotype joke about our addiction to buying luggage.
Fast forward to last year my buddy had a friend from china in town that he went to school with. We had nothing to do so we wandered the mall again. A billion stores that offer a wide selection of things you can throw money at but the store we spend the most time at is the Discount Luggage Outlet. I casually drop it to my friend that I think its a sneaky unknown stereotypes about Asians getting hard over a good quality piece of luggage. Half way through our time there joking about the Asian stereotypes I found my self actually liking and wanting a new suitcase for some reason. Just how smooth it was to pull out the roller handles, the accessibility of all the pockets, the make quality, how smooth the wheels are. It was all feeding into the joke perfectly but once we left, didn’t think much of it. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Buddy and I have been talking about going to Vegas. Next thing you know out of no where I just get impulsive and black out for 4 hours and next thing you know I get a notification from Amazon saying I successfully completed my order for my new duffle bag. At that moment I gave in. In some weird way, Asians really have some weird fascination with luggage. Black people are tall and athletic as fuck and can dance. White people are Ben Affleck. Latins are late to things. Asians love looking at luggage. Next time you walk around a touristy mall count the number of Asians in a Discount luggage store. Maybe if you have the yellow fever, that’s the spot to approach them. I’m dead set on this stereotype about my people and I need the world to know this is a thing.