Monthly Archives: August 2015

Some Jackass Tried to Fake A Chainsaw Massacre With a Leaf Blower During a Screening of The Gift.

viegoers in Newport Beach ran from what they thought was a chainsaw-wielding attacker after a small group burst into a crowded theater and revved the motor of a leaf blower, police said Monday. A few patrons were trampled as panicked viewers fled a showing of “The Gift” at Edwards Big Newport 6 shortly before 11 p.m. on Saturday, Newport Beach police spokeswoman Jennifer Manzella said. No major injuries were reported, she said. Some in the audience thought the theater was being stormed by a gunman, police said.  Investigators believe two or three men in their late teens to early 30s intended to scare moviegoers, Manzella said. “It appears they were trying to lead people to believe there was a weapon,” she said. As the nation reels from mass shootings in theaters across the country, most recently in Lafayette, La., Saturday's scare is “not something we consider just a minor prank,” Manzella said. Authorities said that at least one of the men was in the theater during the movie and opened an exit door so another person could enter with the leaf blower. That man then hoisted the blower over his head, yelled and revved the motor, police said. “Several seconds later, all of the suspects exited the theater through the same emergency exit door,” Manzella said. Police set up a perimeter around the theater complex, but the men had already fled.

Source- Moviegoers in Newport Beach ran from what they thought was a chainsaw-wielding attacker after a small group burst into a crowded theater and revved the motor of a leaf blower, police said Monday.
A few patrons were trampled as panicked viewers fled a showing of “The Gift” at Edwards Big Newport 6 shortly before 11 p.m. on Saturday, Newport Beach police spokeswoman Jennifer Manzella said. No major injuries were reported, she said.
Some in the audience thought the theater was being stormed by a gunman, police said.
Investigators believe two or three men in their late teens to early 30s intended to scare moviegoers, Manzella said. “It appears they were trying to lead people to believe there was a weapon,” she said.
As the nation reels from mass shootings in theaters across the country, most recently in Lafayette, La., Saturday’s scare is “not something we consider just a minor prank,” Manzella said.
Authorities said that at least one of the men was in the theater during the movie and opened an exit door so another person could enter with the leaf blower. That man then hoisted the blower over his head, yelled and revved the motor, police said.
“Several seconds later, all of the suspects exited the theater through the same emergency exit door,” Manzella said.
Police set up a perimeter around the theater complex, but the men had already fled.

Well thats incredibly annoying. I hate pranks. People trying to scare people or piss of people or throw people off of their normal routine are fucking assholes and i hope they get their life nearly beaten the shit out of them. Like If they did this and some movie goer had a gun and just shot him I wouldn’t feel bad for him at all. All those viral prank videos where some fake imposter killer clown is coming after them, you try that around the south and theres a very very strong chance you get shot and deserve it. Movie Theater shootings happen like once a year now. We’re just closing the chapters on the Colorodo theater shooting and you want to just come in and prank a theater during a horror movie, you deserve life in prison. You got people trampled on and ruined a movie going experience. Fuck you.

That being said, i would’ve 100 percent chance knew it wasnt a chain saw. You could just tel by the look. My eyes adjust in the dark fast. i think everyones does. I get it, this was just a product of mass hysteria, but if everyone knew it was a leaf blower and they just stare at the kid like a comedian who said a joke that wasn’t funny and no one got scared at all, that would be kinda funny. Love it when people bomb on stage and want to poop their pants. These ass holes deserve poop in their pants.

Side note- it feels like a cali move to think it was a leaf blower because no chance people in California mow their own lawns.

This 91 year old dude got caught smuggling 100 pounds of cocaine.

A 91-year-old man could become the world’s oldest drug trafficker after being charged with smuggling $1.5 million worth of cocaine. Victor Twartz faces a possible life sentence if he is convicted of bringing more than 100 pounds pounds of cocaine, concealed in soap bars, into Australia on a flight from India. Twartz, a retired surgeon from Sydney, told police he had met people in New Delhi after befriending them online. As he was about to board his return flight to Sydney after a recent visit, he claims that he was handed a bag that he was told contained gifts for someone in Australia, according to the Daily Mirror. A search of Twartz's luggage found 27 packages of soap which tested positive for cocaine. As Twartz left court, a reporter asked if he had been taken advantage of.  Victor's son, Peter Twartz, claims his father was caught up in a scam "He was going over there to sign a business contract that would release some funding to him and that is why he was going." he told Australia's ABC News. "There was some $10 million of inheritance that would be freed up and released to him. The soap were gifts for the bank manager at this end that would be clearing the funds." Peter said his father is a devout Seventh Day Adventist with no criminal background.

Source- A 91-year-old man could become the world’s oldest drug trafficker after being charged with smuggling $1.5 million worth of cocaine.
Victor Twartz faces a possible life sentence if he is convicted of bringing more than 100 pounds pounds of cocaine, concealed in soap bars, into Australia on a flight from India.
Twartz, a retired surgeon from Sydney, told police he had met people in New Delhi after befriending them online.
As he was about to board his return flight to Sydney after a recent visit, he claims that he was handed a bag that he was told contained gifts for someone in Australia, according to the Daily Mirror.
A search of Twartz’s luggage found 27 packages of soap which tested positive for cocaine.
As Twartz left court, a reporter asked if he had been taken advantage of.
Victor’s son, Peter Twartz, claims his father was caught up in a scam
“He was going over there to sign a business contract that would release some funding to him and that is why he was going.” he told Australia’s ABC News.
There was some $10 million of inheritance that would be freed up and released to him. The soap were gifts for the bank manager at this end that would be clearing the funds.”
Peter said his father is a devout Seventh Day Adventist with no criminal background.

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One Hundred pounds of Cocaine. This was not an old man just signing contracts. This ain’t an old man thats some crazy drug trafficking criminal. What we have here is a 91 year old man that was tired of being a pussy and looking at his twilight years, wants to get his hands dirty and be a bad boy for once in his life before he goes.

He has all the riches in the world. I mean life long surgeon that apparently just got a 10 million dollar inheritance? what is that even, is that real? Who the fuck is signing over that inheritance? Any who, he’s fucking loaded with cash. But at some point you look at yourself in the mirror and cant believe you never had had a run in with the law. You’ve been soft your whole life and you don’t want to die a pussy. If thats not his defense then as someone not his legal council, i highly recommend that that be the story. Maybe not legally, maybe just his memoirs. Listen, no one just brings back 100 pounds worth of soap bars into a country. Oh that was a gift? that gift sucks and you’re probably smuggling in drugs in these lame ass soap bar gifts then. This is what happens when someone soft gets tossed in a hardened career criminal scenario. The excuse sucks. Dont blame your self Victor Twartz, Just go out easily knowing you’re rich and can provide your family with wealth, and that you’re going out as the worlds oldest drug trafficker. Fin.

 

Some Guy In Florida is Mailing Snakes Illegally.

WASHINGTON (AP) — A Florida man has admitted his role in the trade of 59 illegally caught wild snakes, including a live rattler mailed to him in a coffee can. Gerard Kruse of Oviedo, Florida, appeared Friday in a federal courtroom in New York City. The 42-year-old social worker pleaded guilty to seven counts of illegally transporting wildlife and six counts of the illegal receipt of wildlife. Federal prosecutors say the snakes were collected by Kruse and others from various states, including New Jersey, California and Oregon. It is a crime to ship or receive illegally collected snakes across state lines. One charge stemmed from a deal where Kruse received a package that included a Western diamondback rattlesnake from Texas sealed in a coffee can. It is also unlawful to mail venomous snakes.

WASHINGTON (AP) — A Florida man has admitted his role in the trade of 59 illegally caught wild snakes, including a live rattler mailed to him in a coffee can.
Gerard Kruse of Oviedo, Florida, appeared Friday in a federal courtroom in New York City. The 42-year-old social worker pleaded guilty to seven counts of illegally transporting wildlife and six counts of the illegal receipt of wildlife.
Federal prosecutors say the snakes were collected by Kruse and others from various states, including New Jersey, California and Oregon. It is a crime to ship or receive illegally collected snakes across state lines.
One charge stemmed from a deal where Kruse received a package that included a Western diamondback rattlesnake from Texas sealed in a coffee can. It is also unlawful to mail venomous snakes.

snake nut can

 

I need everything and everyone involved in this scenario dead. Dead. I dont fuck with snakes. I might’ve said it before on here but if not then let me be as loud as possible about this opinion. FUCK SNAKES. I want then all obliterated from the planet. I don’t know how it will effect the eco system but i don’t care. They slither and that tongue shit they do is fucking gross and then of course the venom. I know not all snakes have venom but I don’t care. A snake is a snake and some snakes have venom so to me all snakes have venom. I don’t know that old rhyme to tell the difference. Yellow on black friend of jack? Is it Red on black? I don’t know. Fuck Jack and fuck snakes.

But as I was saying, i need everyone involved dead. Anyone collecting snakes is a fucking crazy person. Get a normal fucking pet. Not one that you stick in a glass cage where you watch it eat like mice dead or alive. Fucking gross. The Guy shipping snakes? Fuck you bro. Leave the snakes far afucking way from me. I hope your ass gets bit. Texas rattlers should just jump his ass for snatching them and shit. So him, dead. Every single postal employee that didn’t some how screen this shit better. I want you dead. I mean to be fair maybe He did find out about the snake and reported it to the cops and it led to his arrest but the article didn’t say that. Plus there were like 6 other snakes shipped to him before this one so fuck all the postal employees. At some point they should here a fucking rattle snake rattle its rattle in a coffee tin. Fucking gross. I mean dont they have some sort of X ray these days to screen mail? can i just ship like anything these days as long as i seal the package tight enough?

And Last of all, as i said earlier. All those snakes, dead. Its kinda like when those escaped animals break free. You can’t know how they will react so they have to shoot em i think. Same thing with snakes, they’re probably pissed as shit they were taken from their home and live in a glass box in Oveido. Oveido sucks. Almost nothing worth seeing there ever. Snakes probably want to go on a violent rampage so they should jsut take the snake out of the situation by blowing it up. Nuff said.

 

 

Is There Some Alien Ghost Lady On Mars? Yes.

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When i was in high school me and my friend were obsessed with conspiracy theories. At night i would scour the internet to find a billion cryptic crazy conspiracy theories and compiled them in a binder that we dubbed, “The Archives.” Real loser shit. Before class would start we would gather and i would spit the legends and myths about Americas unknown conspiracy theories and we’d all gasp and awe at the truth i was hitting them with. Now one of the most famous , or at least what i think is one of the most well known conspiracy theory, revolves around Amelia Earhart. It was one of the first stories we’ve all heard as a child and got me hooked on weird crazy conspiracy world. Did her electronics fail and crash into the ocean when flying over the Bermuda Triangle? Was she a spy and Japan captured her and killed her? No you idiots. The Bermuda Triangle obviously opened a black hole when she flew her plane through it and it teleported her into space. Duh. Now I’ve heard it they’ve found what looks like parts of a broken plane on The Moon and on Mars. Now Im not saying this figure is Amelia Earhart, but maybe she was pregnant whilst flying and she got teleported to space and she had a kid on Mars. Sound crazy? well its the only explanation to all the facts.

P.s- On the note of Amelia Earhart, there was this old video i saw once, Let me paint the scene. Old 80’s style grainy film quality, a women on the beach. Walking and wandering wondering where she is. She’s dressed in brown leather pilots jacket and khaki pants with a typical leather helmet with the goggles attached. She stumbles upon a group of native tribes people. “Who are you?” the tribe leader ask. “My name is Amelia Earhart”**Porno Music plays..Bow chicka Bow wow..** an Orgy ensues. By far my favorite Amelia Earhart story.

The Marlins Stink: Jose Fernandez Diagnosed with Strained Right Bicep Tendon

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Well the seasons over. Theres no point in trying. Our only somewhat Ace pitchers arm is a god damn noodle and our best bat has been on the DL for more than a month now. And frankly i’ve been okay with that. Pull Jose out now and let his arm just heal until the next season. Don’t even bother bringing Stanton back even though he has the largest contract ever and we’re going no where this year. By next season bring those two back in, make some trades for another great bat and another good arm and get in the god damn race already. Im not asking for a World Series right now, not even next year but somewhere down the line in the next decade it would be nice if we’re paying Stanton with all the diamond and riches Miami has to offer. Fernandez is still young and still undefeated at home so lets keep that going. Yelich is still doing pretty well. Ichiro may be old but if we can smuggle some asian medicine rub for him and keep him healthy then he’s still brining in all the Japanese fans in Miami. This seasons done. Lets build for next season and just focus on the comeback of the dolphins. For now tho, Last place.

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Asian Baby Girl Found Alive Stuffed Down Toilet Pipes

NYDN- A newborn baby girl was found stuffed head-first down the pipe of a Chinese public toilet after passersby heard her screams for help. The terrified tot's mom apparently abandoned the youngster in the Beijing building shortly after giving birth on Sunday afternoon, according to reports. The infant was extracted from the sewer of the squat toilet after cops arrived, reports the Huffington Post. "The baby's head was upside down and the whole body has fallen into the sewer. I could vaguely see the baby's feet from the side," police officer Qian Feng told the People's Daily. She was rushed to hospital, where doctors determined that she had not suffered serious injuries and is expected to make a full recovery.

NYDN- A newborn baby girl was found stuffed head-first down the pipe of a Chinese public toilet after passersby heard her screams for help.
The terrified tot’s mom apparently abandoned the youngster in the Beijing building shortly after giving birth on Sunday afternoon, according to reports.
The infant was extracted from the sewer of the squat toilet after cops arrived, reports the Huffington Post.
“The baby’s head was upside down and the whole body has fallen into the sewer. I could vaguely see the baby’s feet from the side,” police officer Qian Feng told the People’s Daily.
She was rushed to hospital, where doctors determined that she had not suffered serious injuries and is expected to make a full recovery.

jeeeeeebuz. I can almost guarantee this little Chinese baby is gonna probably end up winning the lottery or something. I feel like stories like this always have some conclusion where they end up getting rich or marry rich or try to do something with their life after learning about how they were shoved down a god damn toilet and dumped by their birth mom, and try to turn their life in someway into something special. And of course im glad this small child is alive and healthy but all that aside the only real reason i wanted to put this story up is because it reminds me of Brenda’s Got a baby. Someone find this god damn mom and show her how this affects the whole community.

 

p.s- Of cooourrrrseee that hole in the ground is the toilet.