Me and him are the same height. What would happen if I tried to pull this off? It would end up with me looking like Im charging full speed to hump the guy. No way would I get more than a foot off the ground. Id just bulldoze right through.

46-year-old man drowned in an Antioch lake Sunday night when he jumped in the water to save a cat that he and his friends had taken canoeing, authorities said.
Three friends were in a canoe with the cat in about 35 feet of water, more than 200 feet from shore on Loon Lake in north suburban Lake County, said Lt. Chris Nixon of the Antioch Fire Department.
When the cat jumped into the water, one man went in after it, capsizing the canoe, with all three people ending up in the water, he said. A pontoon boat that was nearby saw the incident and immediately motored over, saving a man and a woman who were in the canoe as well as the cat, Nixon said.
The man who had initially jumped from the canoe did not resurface. Rescuers were called to the scene, near the north shore of Loon Lake, about 7:45 p.m. and recovered his body just after midnight, said Sgt. Sara Balmes of the Lake County Sheriff’s Office.
Balmes said alcohol was a factor.
The victim’s identity was being withheld pending an autopsy, authorities said.
An investigation of the incident was being conducted by the Illinois Department of Natural Resources.

Cats literally have the same 4 appendages as dogs. Even dogs with the smallest and skinniest of legs can swim. Their larger primal jungle cat counter part the tiger, lion, leopards all of those can swim. The modern domesticated house cat is just one of the most inferior animals on the planet and to make matters worse, they’re now the cause of death to some people.

(NEWSER) – Silicon Valley types have long bemoaned the need to spend time eating. “If there was a way that I couldn’t eat so I could work more, I would not eat,” Tesla’s Elon Musk once said. And that’s why “food replacement” products are catching on so quickly among the techie set: “I think engineers are ready to throw in the towel on the illusion that we’re having this family dinner,” one startup founder explains to the New York Times. “Let’s do away with all the marketing facade and get the calories as quickly as we can.” Food replacement products like Soylent, Schmoylent, Schmilk, and People Chow are protein powders (that also include other nutrients) that can be mixed with water or milk and, creators say, used as a complete diet. Thus, by mixing up a batch each night and sipping throughout the day, one software developer explains, he doesn’t need to think about food until 7pm.
But, as the Times notes, the powdered drinks “typically taste like bland, gritty pancake batter,” and even some devotees admit they get tired of the taste. (A writer who lived on Soylent for 30 days in 2013 notes that some have compared it to semen; his own comparison is baby formula.) But that hasn’t stopped the drinks’ wild success: Investors are heaping money on the companies, some would-be drinkers are waiting as long as six months to get their first orders, and the powders are even being served at Silicon Valley events. (At one dinner party, a software engineer served a side dish of peanut-butter-enhanced Soylent alongside pad thai.) Also appealing: A week’s worth of the drinks costs about $85, while eating a meal at a Silicon Valley restaurant will run you about $50—or more. But some who’ve tried Soylent say it’s still too much work to prepare—or it’s just plain joyless.

Anyone who’s been in a kitchen knows the technical calories are the least important part of the meal. You eat with your eyes first, then your nose, and last of all mouth. Its about that juicy burger or that cheesey slice of pizza when you pull a slice away from the rest of the pie. Thats what i hate about these new tech revolution kids, they want everything to be made out of aluminum and wants life to be a dull as possible. Fuck them. I also got some theories of my own about this shit. 1.) its made out of human flesh like in the 1970’s movie featuring Charlton Heston. I don’t even understand how in 2015 where everything gets unwarranted outrage that this name hasn’t caused up a stir yet. 2.) The human body is like one of the greatest machines on earth. Nerd scientist cant recreate anything as complex as people. I think its one of those things where everything has to function and by not having to eat anymore, i think something radical would happen like our teeth shoot into our brains or something. Kinda like rodents. Or the second we eat something solid it explodes in our stomach because its not use to solids anymore. Well fuck that, give me pizza slices to gobble down over this awful pancake powder drink.

P.s- How about the dude who said it tasted like semen? I’m gonna try and be nice and say he just over shot one day during a session but in reality he’s might just be a silicon valley tech nerd who catches.

Charlie horses are the worst. I wear jeans a lot so i just feel it and suffer but if i saw that, i honestly could see myself freaking out and wanting to kill my self in that moment. Also, I get cramps a lot when im like waking up and i stretch and i pull that shit or something to the point where it cramps up. I think thats a sign that i gotta do more in life but telling this story was more than enough.

Thrillist- Taco Bell’s new Chicago location is making plans to serve booze, and we have the documents to prove it.
The new restaurant, coming to Chicago’s Wicker Park neighborhood this summer, could be the first Taco Bell to serve alcoholic beverages, and city records obtained by Thrillist through a Freedom of Information Act request reveal new details from the plans, including what the boozy drink options might be.
Along with the typical Taco Bell fare like Crunchwraps and smothered burritos, an outline of the location’s menu, dated Feb. 26th, includes “Wicker Park Specials” such as two draft beer options, as well as “Twisted Freezes,” which are described as “Frozen Beverages featuring Vodka, Tequila, or Rum.” While there’s no mention of the crazy Doritos Locos margaritas of our dreams (or nightmares?), just imagine kicking back at a freaking Taco Bell with a Corona and a pile of tacos. Now that sounds like living más.

I need this at my nearest South Florida location and i need it fast. Im not gonna be a snob and pretend I dont eat fast food. I love it. Give me quesadillas and chalupas all day every day. Literally one summer I think I had taco bell every other night when im out with my buddies. Now that summers creeping back into the calendar, even though its hot as ball 24/7 here in florida, I need one of these twisted freezes. Nothing complements a chalupa better it seems. Everything makes sense about it. Sure booze and Mcdonalds might lead to a 4am crippling stomach cramp, but i dont know, i just have a good feeling about this. Coronas and tacos are just right. Please extend these test booze taco bells down to South florida. Pretty Please.

Scrolling through the Detroit Snap story and out of no where is this black dude chilling with a Capybara. Is that normal in Detroit? like exotic animal owners? Dont tell me how poor you are and then tell me you’re out walking your exotic capybara in your fancy buckle loafers. That Nissan 370z is probably his too and thats at least 30k.

AOL- According to Fox 40, an 11-year-old Sacramento boy is now a college graduate.
Tanishq Abraham graduated from American River College in Sacramento on Wednesday night with degrees in math and physical sciences, general science and foreign language studies.
“I like to learn,” he told FOX40 following the graduation ceremony. “So I just followed my passion of learning, and that’s how I ended up here.”
“We did it as a family, as teamwork,” added his proud mother, Taji Abraham. “And I was just cheering, I was just crying there when I saw Tanishq walk down the stage.”
Tahishq still has a few courses to take at ARC.
Then he would like to go to Stanford, and ultimately become a doctor, a medical researcher and president of the United States.

Listen, you can be an 11  year old college kid all you want and graduate high school the year before all you please but this kid has still technically done nothing. Im not saying i want the kid to fail in life but guess what Tanishq, the bars been set and set by you. If you don’t have a cure for cancer in like 5 years then really whats the point of your accelerated brain? if anything i feel like he’s gonna end up no where in 20 years. We already have microwaves to heat up our food fast and Plan B pills to stop pregnancies so the only thing left to do for this kid is cure cancer. The task is yours now, Tanishq Abraham. If you don’t cure cancer in 5 years, 10 years max then you’re just a normal simpleton like the rest of us and not the #ChildGenius or #Prodigy you thought you were.

(Im probably just extremely jealous of this smart kid and my dad probably would want to trade me for him)

HP- Defending yourself in a court case is rarely recommended, but appointing a stuffed owl as your lawyer is really bird-brained.
Nevertheless, that’s who — or what — Charles Abbott brought as his attorney when he appeared in an Aspen, Colorado, courtroom on Tuesday, the Associated Press reports.
Abbott is accused of violating a protection order involving his former roommate Michael Stranahan. The order was filed after Abbott allegedly assaulted Stranahan at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
Stranahan said Abbott violated the order by going to Stranahan’s home to retrieve belonging when the victim was out of town, according to KWGN.com.
In court, Abbott placed a fuzzy stuffed owl at the defense table and told the judge that the owl — named “Soloman” — would be his legal counsel until a public defender was assigned to the case, the Aspen Times reports.
“He’s a very sensitive guy, has law degrees from Yale, Harvard and Stanford,” Abbott told the judge, according to the paper. “I think he’ll be able to represent me before a public defender comes online.”

Case and Point, Charles Abbot over here who has a stuffed owl as his attorney to defend him in a case where he assaulted his old room mate at an AA meeting. God i didnt even see the AA meeting part until just now but of course they were at an AA meeting. Thats just the thing about people over 35 with a room mate. If they had any normalcy in life or any sense of social awareness they would be married to something and not room mates at probably 45 years old. But whatever, we knew this going in that these people are crazy. Hiring a stuffed animal as a lawyer is a whole new level of lunacy, but to his credit, he couldn’t have hired a better stuffed animal. I dont know why but owls just seem like the smart wise creature so i guess if you wanted to go with that angle in the court of law, then your in good company. As far as stuffed animal attorneys go at least. But add on top of that the fact that the owl has law degrees from Yale, Harvard, AND Stanford? I dont know how he couldn’t win a court case with credentials like that….

I also believe he really believes thats his lawyer, and most of all i think he even pays that stuffed animal his lawyer fees too.

In reality I dont think its up there with ODB. Not and in game situation and Odell Beckams was way far behind him but theres no shout of a doubt that that shits impressive. Anyone who can do a backflip is cool. That gets you chicks 100% of the time. Catching a football and on the football team also gonna get you chicks 100% of the time. But most of all i had to post cause this was my old stomping grounds. American Heritage School, home of the Patriots where Ed Lee was molded into the man he was today. I wasn’t an athlete, I wasn’t an artist, and from my grades, definitely not a child prodigy in academia, but what i was was at Heritage made me a staple, I just was who i was. Cant really explain it but when AHS decides to create a Hall of Fame Alumni, rest assure ill be in that book right there with Marco Wilson. Probably a few pages before him.

P.s- That walk across the field to the 2000 building across the bleachers would be the longest walk ever in the Florida heat. (If i cant make it across the field in a brisk walk without dying back then, then you can probably figure i never woulda made the team)

Source- Twin 52-year-old brothers are facing the same charge after throwing bricks at each other during an argument, Orange City police said.
Michael and James Remelius were arguing with each other in the front yard of a home in the 600 block of Howard Avenue about 8:45 p.m. Tuesday when Michael picked up a brick and threatened to throw it at his brother, according to a police report. James then picked up a brick in a threatening manner.
Michael threw his brick and hit his brother in the leg, causing a small cut, according to the report. James then threw his brick and struck Michael in the right eye, causing bleeding and swelling.
The brothers were both charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and taken to Volusia County Branch Jail, where James was being held Wednesday on $25,000 bail, records show. Michael’s bail is set at $20,000.

Florida man. I gotta get out of here. Florida is a place you go to die i think. Its like in Interstellar when Michael Caine saying we weren’t meant to die on earth, we were meant to leave it. Well i think the same of Florida for me. I grew up here and im use to it and my neck of the woods are pretty normal. But rest assure, if i stay here for another 20 years, im gonna murder someone. I mean these two threw bricks at each other and they’re brothers. Twins none the less. If one gets hurt, so does the other. But its florida and the heats gotten to their brains. Hope these two resolved things with bricks cause if theres anymore arguing going on, one if not both of them will have killed each other by the next family reunion.

Sidenote- I hate twins. Only met one twin im cool with in my life but even he’s a bit whacky, but over all, twins and i dont mix. But thats another story for another day.