(NEWSER) – Silicon Valley types have long bemoaned the need to spend time eating. “If there was a way that I couldn’t eat so I could work more, I would not eat,” Tesla’s Elon Musk once said. And that’s why “food replacement” products are catching on so quickly among the techie set: “I think engineers are ready to throw in the towel on the illusion that we’re having this family dinner,” one startup founder explains to the New York Times. “Let’s do away with all the marketing facade and get the calories as quickly as we can.” Food replacement products like Soylent, Schmoylent, Schmilk, and People Chow are protein powders (that also include other nutrients) that can be mixed with water or milk and, creators say, used as a complete diet. Thus, by mixing up a batch each night and sipping throughout the day, one software developer explains, he doesn’t need to think about food until 7pm.
But, as the Times notes, the powdered drinks “typically taste like bland, gritty pancake batter,” and even some devotees admit they get tired of the taste. (A writer who lived on Soylent for 30 days in 2013 notes that some have compared it to semen; his own comparison is baby formula.) But that hasn’t stopped the drinks’ wild success: Investors are heaping money on the companies, some would-be drinkers are waiting as long as six months to get their first orders, and the powders are even being served at Silicon Valley events. (At one dinner party, a software engineer served a side dish of peanut-butter-enhanced Soylent alongside pad thai.) Also appealing: A week’s worth of the drinks costs about $85, while eating a meal at a Silicon Valley restaurant will run you about $50—or more. But some who’ve tried Soylent say it’s still too much work to prepare—or it’s just plain joyless.
Anyone who’s been in a kitchen knows the technical calories are the least important part of the meal. You eat with your eyes first, then your nose, and last of all mouth. Its about that juicy burger or that cheesey slice of pizza when you pull a slice away from the rest of the pie. Thats what i hate about these new tech revolution kids, they want everything to be made out of aluminum and wants life to be a dull as possible. Fuck them. I also got some theories of my own about this shit. 1.) its made out of human flesh like in the 1970’s movie featuring Charlton Heston. I don’t even understand how in 2015 where everything gets unwarranted outrage that this name hasn’t caused up a stir yet. 2.) The human body is like one of the greatest machines on earth. Nerd scientist cant recreate anything as complex as people. I think its one of those things where everything has to function and by not having to eat anymore, i think something radical would happen like our teeth shoot into our brains or something. Kinda like rodents. Or the second we eat something solid it explodes in our stomach because its not use to solids anymore. Well fuck that, give me pizza slices to gobble down over this awful pancake powder drink.
P.s- How about the dude who said it tasted like semen? I’m gonna try and be nice and say he just over shot one day during a session but in reality he’s might just be a silicon valley tech nerd who catches.