Chinese Farmer Wants To Trade 176 LB Magic Mushroom For A Wife; I Think Its A Hunk Of Shit
DailyMail- A farmer in China is hoping to sell a rare mushroom so that her son could afford to find a wife. The woman, from the village of Xianghe, said her son, named Xiao Li, found the 176-pound giant mushroom a few days ago in a pond, reported People’s Daily Online. The family have shown the media their treasured fungus, known as Tai Sui, which is considered to be the medicine for immortality in traditional Chinese medicine. According to the report, Xiao Li picked up the priced fungus while catching fish in a pond near his house. He said at first he didn’t know what it was. Li said: ‘I touched a soft lump. At first I startled, then I examined further and realised it was massive.’ He and his father transported the mysterious object home with a tricycle. Li then added: ‘I looked up online and realised it is Tai Sui and it has medical value.’ The family now hope experts could help them value the fungus which they keep in their warehouse. Li’s mother is especially glad about the prized find. She told Chinese media that she expected the mushroom to bring the family a handsome profit. She added that her son is still single, so she hoped the money could help him to afford a wife. Although variations of the mushroom has been used for medicinal purposes in China and Japan for more than two millennia, it’s promise of longevity has never been officially proven. However, some active compounds isolated from the mushroom were shown to have anti-cancer properties in human trials according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information. What’s more, the legends that surround the mushroom’s magical powers, which are supposed to help people live forever without getting old, means that it continues to be in demand today.
Ummmmm I hate to break the news to Xiao Li here but that thing is just a massive hunk of shit im pretty sure. Boeing bombs. Them airplanes they dump their toilets at 3600 feet and the stuff freezes and falls to earth. That’s a big ol frozen chunk of poopy. Now assuming that this isn’t a massive frozen airplane turd from tourist eating weird exotic stuff, how much is this guy really gonna get for that? After doing some internet googling research this thing is also called a “Wild Reishi Mushroom.” That shits worth 30 bucks a pound but I’ll be reasonable and give him the high value at $50 at 176 pounds that brings home a whopping $8,800. Not even 10 grand! Bro you think you’re gonna bring in a wife with less than 10 grand? Fuck outta here with that noise. But who knows, the world is filled with weird weird places and the oriental far east is one of the weirder ones. Maybe they value a hunk of space shit over there and some one’s crazy enough to buy it. Or even crazier maybe someone will marry this momma’s boy farmer who has no cash and at max is looking at a fortune of 8 grand even though i spend that much a year at least on utilities and shit. Good luck with that.