Now I’m not gonna start blogging my dreams all the live long day because a) I forget that shit and b) i don’t think anyone cares but ever since the Jay Z/ Beyonce’s Sister elevator incident, i randomly called out that they were gonna get a divorce. Being the man that loves winning bets and calling things, I was jumping with joy when I found out and then immediately crushed when i found out it was just in my dreams. Any ways, let me break it down how it all happened.

I was in New York at the time getting ready for a wedding. It’s kinda crazy because that wedding is really happening and my friend is going to a wedding today. Funny how that works out in dreams. Anyways, it was like 9 am very foggy day and I’m in an apartment where you can and probably will kill your self accidentally because for some reason there was just some massive hole in a massive window where you can just walk out onto a ledge while you’re up a million feet in the air with winds blowing. Luckily I didn’t die this day. Instead I for some reason didn’t pack any winter clothes even though its in the winter and I forgot to pack a suit going into a wedding. I was wearing like a god damn white shirt with spaghetti stains all over the front and for some reason in my dream was just gonna roll with it? Clean it up, Ed. Gotta dress to the 9s at a wedding. Anyways I’m freaking out because the rest of my family shows up in suits and fancy tux that they got in Paris or some shit so I’m looking like the biggest retard on the block. Start panicking and just decide I’m gonna go buy one right before then and there.

As I head down stairs ( Because apparently every floor below the 26th floor apartments were apart of a mall) I try on suits and shit and couldn’t find one i liked, then i walked outside when it happened. I magically got a suit that materialized on me and then i hear a commotion. I run down like 6 flights of stairs and I’m magically wearing a suit when i hear moaning happening. Out of no where i just see Jay Z in the middle of a stage at the mall drop to his knees and begin crying. Hova just looking like the most vulnerable person on the planet at that moment blubbering tears. The whole crowd was shocked when they saw when they saw what was happening. All over the TV’s and intercoms was a live feed of Beyonce having sex with another man, and that man is none other than Paul Anthony Pierce. Number 34- small forward of the Los Angeles Clippers. The Motherfuckin Truth.

Welp, Have a nice Saturday, folks! Spread this rumor like wildfire!