Ahh yes the New York city hot dog vendor. A staple in the New York tourist landscape. Now i’ve been in New York a lot, got family from there and was born there but up until 17 years of my life at the time, i had never EVER entertained the thought of getting a disgusting New York City Dirty Water Dog. But now let me take it back for a second. I was 17 and it was my senior year in high school and i was in the Model UN (yea, i should be some famous diplomat pretty much). We go on a field trip with our team and a buddy of mines and everything just felt like i should try to be the tourist for once so i did. I was just a tourist at that moment staying at the Hilton around Time Square. So one of the nights there Im out wandering around the city me and a buddy and we’re hungry but poor as fuck trying to save up money so we see a hot dog vendor and say fuck it, cant be that bad. And the truth is it wasn’t. All hot dogs are technically made of gross things but you load it up with condiments and shove that guy down ur throat as fast as possible so you can hurry up and regret eating one. The problem came with the guy selling the hot dog and i think that man and Amed Mohammed are one in the same. All i ordered was 2 hot dogs period but next thing you know they guy starts yappin some jibberish and i thought he was just a crazy person and talking out loud but then he starts point his tongs at me and banging on the cart to get my attention. Im just confused as fuck and he keeps on saying stuff so i just keep saying ” yea 2 hot dogs thats all” and then i hear an “okay okay” next thing you know he starts loading it with like ketchup and mustard but what ever was probably gonna put some on either way. Again to mask the taste of the hudson river water probably. But then he says comes with one drink and i think its a steal. Next thing you know he hands me the 2 hot dogs and a sunkist and is asking me for TWENTY FIVE dollars. Guess what Ed, Your common sense failed you and led you to buy two shitty hot dogs and a sunkist. His old ashy fingers touching the bun and everything. Wanted to puke but i wasnt gonna let my common sense fail me again, i pay with out getting stabbed, eat my shitty hot dog, drink the sunkist that probably had rat piss on it but whatever. Now you know to never do it again.
The lesson is to never go to a tourist trap, or if you do, expect a bazillion dollar mark up. Disney world charged us like 5 bucks for a Mcdouble once when its on the dollar menu. Well Amed and his hot dogs are the same. Tourist gotta be willing to fork over the money or just avoid it at all cost, the decision is yours.
P.s- Right after we got those hot dogs we saw a homeless man jump into the water fountain and try to bath himself. Pulled down his pants and everything. And this was in December.