Egotastic- Grand Theft Auto V, as we all know damn well, was a huge achievement in the field of open world sandbox-ery. It bought us a city playground several times the size of previous Grand Theft Auto worlds, and more than ever to do within it. If you’ve ever wanted to take a break from your badass crime spree to do a little yoga, this is your jam, right here. I don’t want to drop cliches like ‘living, breathing world’ on your asses, but that’s where Rockstar were going with this. Every pedestrian you pass seems to have a purpose of their own, places to go and people to see. There are limits to that, natch, but generally you’re just cruising past in a blur as some asshole online aims a rocket up your tailpipe, so you don’t really notice. Which sucks a bit, frankly. Because when you really pay attention to the minutiae of Los Santos life, you see just how much has gone into the game. Which is where the obsessive attention-payers at 8-Bit Bastard come in. These guys put in six months –six freaking months– of work to bring us Onto the Land, a documentary about the wildlife of GTA V. From hairy-assed little rabbits to hawks and cougars, they’re all here, and they’re all… a little scientifically ropey. But that’s video game AI for you. Did you know cougars hunt by herding deer about until they plummet over cliffs, in hilarious slow-mo and bouncing repeatedly off rocks like Homer Simpson, then scavenging the remains at their leisure? Nope, me neither. But here it is:
Now I don’t want to over exaggerate and say Onto The Land should be a contender for the Academy Awards or anything. Realistically not even Golden Globe. But thanks to my short attention span, I zoned out and back in and forgot I was watching something pieced together from a video game featuring heavy gun violence and gang culture. I was watching the beauty of nature, the struggle to survive living in the wild, and interaction between man and nature. Sure some of the information relayed might not be the most accurate information but thats just how convincing the doc was. Get the right nature music, some British narration, and just point the camera at digital animals and it’ll always be a decent nature/animal documentary in my mind.
Sidenote- 6 months though? fucking coulda filmed a real nature doc in that time but ill settle for the fake landscape that is Los Santos