Mother Nature Might Just Hate If You If You Get Speared By The Winds

(CNN) — Heavy winds uprooted several beach umbrellas along the Jersey Shore on Monday, and a British tourist was impaled by one of the aluminum stakes.

Margaret Reynolds, who was visiting from London, was basking on the beach when the stake of a flying umbrella went through her ankle, according to Seaside Heights, New Jersey, Police Detective Steven Korman.

First responders had to use bolt cutters to split the rod on-site so she could be transported to the hospital.

Reynolds was taken to Jersey Shore University Medical Center for treatment and has been discharged.

“It was a beautiful day and a gust of wind blew the umbrella,” Reynolds said in a statement from the hospital. “It was just an accident.”

Sometimes when I, as a Floridian, have to go through things like Hurricanes I think to my self this is probably just the way we find a natural balance in the world. Humans come in all hot planting their feet down claiming land and next thing you know water comes down from the heavens and fucks up everything. Its a sad state of affairs sometimes but its what we have to deal with living on this here green earth. The thing is though, those are mass incidents that affect hundreds with no real bias. We have hurricanes here, tsunamis in the pacific, earthquakes in the mid-west. All of those mess up peoples lives at random. Then we get times like this story right here. I picture there was some sort of butterfly effect that left this british tourist impaled onto the beaches of the Jersey shore. Probably was having a nice vacation, summer in the states and whatnot. It was most likely an accident but probably tossed a plastic water bottle out quickly not making its way fully into the recycling bin and just left there on the floor knowing it will never decompose. Its a simple mistake, she was in a rush to get to a nice spot at the beach when it hasn’t become completely crowded. She thinks nothing of it, letting the sun tan her most likely very pale British self. Its a wonderful mix of sun and breeze until it suddenly she gets a feeling down by her ankles. Did a casual beach goer trip over her foot by chance? It’s a popular summer vacation destination so that is a possibility. She looks up and takes the sun glasses off and that’s when she sees it. A MASSIVE beach umbrella Impaled into her ankles that makes the crucifixion of Jesus Christ look like a small piece of shrapnel in his foot. That might just be MILF Nature sending you a subtle message saying please reduce, reuse, and recycle.

It was probably just a random accident.

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