A woman accused of assaulting her boyfriend was allegedly willing to do anything to avoid arrest, even lick an officer’s butt.
Diane Thomas, 52, was arrested on May 16, accused of punching her live-in boyfriend in the face “multiple times” and scratching him with her fingernails, The Smoking Gun reports.
Thomas, of Monroe, Lousiana, admitted to the assault but blamed the victim, saying, “He (was) a bitch and got in her face, so she beat his ass,” a police report obtained by the website alleges.
When Thomas realized she was being collared, she tried to get officers to reconsider, explaining that “she had a good job,” according to the incident report.
Her pleas didn’t work, so she allegedly offered to “lick [the officer’s] butt hole,” as Complex.com indelicately quoted from the arrest report.
Officers didn’t take up Thomas’ butt bribe. Instead, they charged her with public bribery as well as a misdemeanor domestic abuse charge, according to The Smoking Gun.
Thomas has since been freed from the Ouachita Correctional Center on $5,000 bond.
Asshole licking is the first thing she jumped to? Is that like whats hot in the streets? Im feeling like a pretty big square right now. I mean I figure a blowjob is the standard so i figured she’d offer to blow him. If that doesn’t work then you leverage full sex and then the ace in your sleeve has to be anal but she went with ass licking first? Maybe she sized him up right there and knew getting his ass licked was his thing? Hey Diane Thomas, learn how to bribe better. Ass hole licking, i assume, doesnt do much for me. Make the offer more appealing to get me interested and then wait for my counter offer. Would it have work? I dont know but you’re the one who went to jail and that was the best offer you put up so i think it would’ve. Maybe if you want to protect your sweet job so much maybe learn from your mistake and bribe your boss with something that will make him actually cum. Also how about the boyfriend getting his ass whopped by an asshole licker? that guy’s a flat out loser.